Therefore it’s wise as a professional to put time and effort into building your networks, particularly when you’re just starting out in your career.

Though I’ve never been introverted or shy, I used to be somewhat of an awkward networker. The mere thought of approaching and making chitchat with total strangers at events was exhausting. I thought it pretentious, insincere and rather contrived. But networking is not all about schmoozing and getting in with the right people to get you places! If you approach it in a genuine way, you can form real relationships with people who can advise, support and inspire your personal and professional growth. Also you should never underestimate the power of a mentor – whether intellectual, spiritual or emotional.

I figured the more that I reached out to people, the easier it would become.  So I forced myself to get out and start networking.  Here’s how I got the hang of it:

Prepare

It helps to approach people knowing your story and your purpose. In answer to the inevitable “What do you do?”, keep it brief and interesting. Include details that people can latch on and relate to.  These can be about hobbies, your job or interests.  To quote Paris Hilton, “The only rule is don’t be boring.”

Make sure that you have enough business cards printed, and slip a few into each of your handbags so that you’re never caught unprepared when someone asks for one.

Keep it real

The key is to be genuine.  Rather than seeing each networking opportunity as a chance to sell yourself, approach it as a chance to learn more about your industry and the world.  I used to think that holding my own in a conversation meant having all of the right answers, and showcasing how much I know.  But I’ve enjoyed the longest and most enriching conversations when I’ve done more listening than talking and tried to learn something new from another person.  Asking questions allows you to come across as confident and engaging, without being pushy.  And people will always be more interested in someone who is interested in them!

Drop a note

Thanks to the www, these days we have access to potential networks around the globe.  E-mail is a convenient, non-intrusive way to share ideas with people that peak your interest.  Always ask for an e-mail address, and use it within good time.  The stalker’s handy helpers (Facebook, Twitter and Google) have also made it easier than ever to link with people you’ve never met.  Don’t be shy to drop a note to bloggers, bands or photographers that you find inspiring.  You never know what cool conversations or opportunities could come of it.

As with most things in life, what’s most important is to show up with a smile.  Stay open and friendly to everyone you meet, not just the people you deem worth knowing.  Be generous, and also think in terms of how you can help others.  And remember, the point of networking is to draw the right attention to the great work you’re doing.  So do the work! “Connections” can only cover for incompetence for a short while. Don’t ever make people regret giving you a chance. Walk the talk.

Zanele Mji is a 22 year old Politics and Gender Studies graduate from the University of Cape Town. Though born in the USA she grew up in Durban, South Africa. She’s a columnist and blogger for Marie Claire South Africa.